In Power Exchange relationships there are typically 2 parts, separated by “the slash.” The most common heard are probably Dominants/submissives and Master/slaves. Each set have slightly different connotations. This lesson (along with its companion, righties) is meant to gain an understanding of the Lefter side of some of the more common power exchange dynamics.
I prefer the title Master for myself. I have a pet, a slave, and a mate. Master was chosen for me by my first slave, who is now my mate. In addition to that, I feel that a Master’s job is to master their righties, much like Yo Yo Ma has mastered the cello, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has mastered really fast left turns, and Stephen Colbert has mastered random trivia about Lord of the Rings. I think of mastery much like a black belt in a martial art. I am not perfect at my art, but I do feel that I have “mastered the basics”.
What follows is an approximate explanation of some terms that refer to people left of the slash, in other words, those in the controlling role in a power exchange. These are my definitions and beliefs. You may come to accept them for yourself, you may prefer someone else’s definitions, or you may end up defining them for yourself. The definitions given here are to give you a place to start, and an understanding of my view point.
Lefter
This is my own term. I’ve never seen anyone else use it, but it makes sense to me. In my studies I have seen arguments over titles. Many times you will read or hear “I’m not a Dominant, I’m a Master”, “I’m not a Top,” “I’m a Dominant,” or “I’m a Trainer, not an Owner.” I have decided in my writing to use Lefter as a generalized term for anyone who is on the left side of the slash. Master/slave…Master is the Lefter. (I have chosen rightie for the right side of the slash) So Master/slave is represented by Lefter/rightie.
Master
There are two definitions for Master:
Owner and controller of a slave or total submissive (many don’t identify as slave). This is usually a 24/7 arrangement, and the Master is responsible for meeting the needs of the slave as defined between them.
In the Leather community, the title of Master is granted to someone who has significantly contributed to the community, is of high standing, and respected. The term Master in the leather community applies to males and females equally. I do not identify as Leather, so I will never be “Master” in the leather sense, but I am Master to my slaves.
Top
Someone who is on the handle end of play. The rightie is referred to bottom. Tops are the ones that throw the leather, tie people up, or swing the paddles. They are sometimes asked to play even though there is no existing relationship between this Top and a bottom. These tops are sometimes referred to as service tops, because they are providing a service. Some Tops identify as Service Tops when providing a variety of services for the well-being of their bottom or partner, such as getting water and making sure they drink it.
Dominant
A person that consensually takes authority or control from someone else. This is the most generalized term used in the community for someone on the left side of the slash. Not everyone goes around with Trainer, Owner, Daddy, or Sir written on their shirt indicating their preference of titles. They are commonly referred to as Doms. The term Domme is sometimes used as the feminine form of the title; but it is not a universally accepted practice to feminize the term.
Owner
An individual who has accepted someone else as property. This designation can be degrading or dehumanizing to the person owned (called property) which is exactly what this particular dynamic emphasizes. For some, having their humanity stripped from them is what makes them feel most free. Owners are the controllers of sentient property.
Daddy or Mommy
A person who takes charge over someone else. The rightie is often referred to as a little. Daddy Dom/babygirl (DD/lg) is a common pairing in the community. The little typically takes on a younger persona anywhere from infancy to adolescence. These relationships may or may not not to have a sexual component. However, just because there are elements of age play involved, these Lefters are not pedophiles, because they do not have the desire to sexually interact with an actual child, just a grown up acting in the persona of a child. Daddies are typically very nurturing and protective personalities, and thus pair well with littles. An alternative title seen now is Caretaker (Ct/lg or CT/princess, for example).
Trainer
A person who helps train a rightie in a skill set. Some trainers give particular lessons in an area, like formal dining. They are the ones that teach you which fork goes with the appetizer vs the salad.
*Editor’s note on formal dining: it’s always outside-in, dessert up top, and if you hold your index finger up and touch the rest to your thumb, it will tell you “b for bread, d for drink” to identify which plate and cup are yours.
A person who takes someone unskilled in any particular submissive service forms and teaches them about the lifestyle. This may or may not involve a sexual relationship, but it is not required. Often the person being trained isn’t being trained for the person doing the training, but just for the rightie’s edification
Mentor
A person often from the same side of the slash (but not always) that takes a newer or less experienced person under their wing to help guide them. A Mentor often guides a newbie through the lifestyle, introducing them to others in the community, showing them the ropes, and helping them identify and avoid predators.
There is controversy related to mentoring. Who is best to mentor new righties, an experienced Lefter, or an experienced rightie? Some say, only a rightie can mentor a rightie, because they have the experience of being a rightie. Others will argue that a Lefter is best because the Lefter has experience of what to expect from the rightie. There is also a debate about whether a mentor may and/or should have a sexual relationship with their mentee. As with everything else, there is no one right answer, but lots of differing opinions.
Another controversy is “Who is protecting you from the protector?” As a newbie rightie, you don’t know if your mentor is mentoring you are just claiming you for himself under the guise of mentoring. It is a situation that can be easily abused. Mentors, like any other relationship, should be approached with caution, just because someone introduces themselves as a mentor, they should never attempt to control you or isolate you from the community.
Protector
Much like a mentor, but less involved. A protector is often someone who has been in the community for much longer and is well connected. When a newbie rightie is interested in someone as a potential Lefter, the protector may give guidance and suggestions to the rightie. The rightie always has the option of ignoring their protector. Even when they follow the protector’s advice, the rightie assumes responsibility for their own choices.
There are many more, but these cover the most common. There is one more very important item to note – NONE of these relationships give legal protections, rights, etc. in most states and jurisdictions. That means that you and only you are responsible for your decisions, actions, and consequences of those actions. Additionally, in many places, consent is not a defense to prosecution for abuse, so Lefters should exercise at least as much care choosing righties as righties do choosing their Lefter(s).
What type of Lefter are you looking for?
What characteristics do you find the most valuable for Lefters?