This thought, presented by the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, is counterintuitive to most people’s perceptions of leadership. Lao Tzu believed that to be the kind of leader people want to follow, you must have a solid understanding of who you are leading, and that knowledge is best obtained from a position of service rather than of command. This quote suggests that by putting the needs of those under your care above your own, you can better serve them — and if you know how to serve them better, you will become a better leader.
Do you embrace this concept resonate with how you enact your leadership, or how something you appreciate from the one you follow?
I apologize for the dissertation that is about to happen.
TL/DR…Yes. This is a very valid type of leadership.
Because you asked version:
Imagine there is a leader and a follower. The follower comes up to the leader and asks to be shown through a dense forest. They do not know the way and do not know where the path lies. The leader, having walked this path through the forest knows the path well, although it is not clearly marked. The leader has a few different ways to get the follower to the other side of the forest.
The leader can walk in front of the follower. Strolling along with the steps that they already know, and finding the hidden markings letting them know they are heading the right way. However, they have to constantly check behind themselves to make sure the follower is still there and haven’t gone following a butterfly fluttering in the breeze.
The leader could decide to tie a rope around their waist and around the waist of the follower, so they cannot deviate from the path. However, then they are constantly slowed down because the follower doesn’t know where they are going, and are unsure of the next step, get caught on hidden roots, or tripping over rocks even though it is the same rock the leader just knew to avoid.
By leading from behind the follower, the leader can better see things from the point of view of the follower. They are able to point out things from the follower’s perspective, teaching them to steer just a little more to the left or to the right, teaching them to avoid the roots up ahead, and helping them up when they trip or stumble. They then progress along the path together at the speed that is most comfortable for the follower, and the leader, who knows the way already, can be patient as the learner learns to see the change in elevation, the moss on the trees. In this way, the leader can guide them by helping them learn to recognize the path instead of just pulling them along.
“This quote suggests that by putting the needs of those under your care above your own, you can better serve them”
There is much written about the servant leader, those who think leadership is “Follow me” aren’t. They may be leaders, but they do not necessarily teach those who follow them HOW to lead, or even how to find the path.
This does not necessarily mean that you are putting their needs before yours, but as a servant leader, since your needs are already met (you know the path), you can put them aside and put their need (learning how to find the path) in the forefront. Leadership is indeed a service. Leadership in a relationship (Kinky or not) is a service not to the follower, but to the relationship.
In certain circles, there is a belief that the follower serves the leader, the leader serves the relationship.
This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I am a servant leader.